Roscoe's Blog

Life Imitates Monty Python

Yesterday's Best of the Web points out Professor Richard Burt of the University of Florida, who has written a recent anti-Bush editorial, but who, in the past, has apparently written a book on gay themes in Shakespeare, something called Unspeakable ShaXXXspeares: Queer Theory and American Kiddie Culture (St. Martin’s, 1998; rev. paperback, 1999).

But Monty Python had this sort of thing covered a long time ago.  Inspector Gaskell was raiding a dirty book shop in modern London, and he suddenly found himself transformed into Sir Philip Sidney in Elizabethan England:

Gaskell	Good evening all, my love. I have returned safe from the Low Countries. (she hurriedly hides the book she is reading under some knitting and starts whistling) What are thou reading, fair one?
Wife	Oh, 'tis nothing, husband.
Gaskell	I can see 'tis something.
Wife	'Tis one of Shakespeare's latest works.
	Gaskell picks up the book and reads the title.
Gaskell	Oh ...'Gay Boys in Bondage' What, is't - tragedy? Comedy?
Wife	'Tis a... er... 'tis a story of a man's great love for his... fellow men.
Gaskell	How fortunate we are indeed to have such a poet on these shores.
Wife	Indeed. How was the war, my lord?
Gaskell	The Spaniards were defeated thrice. Six dozen chests of hardcore captured.
Wife	(trying to look innocent) Hast brought home any spoils of war?
Gaskell	Yes, good my wife, this fair coat trimmed with ermine.
Wife	(without enthusiasm) Oh, lovely, nowt else?
Gaskell	No, no fair lady. The rest was too smutty.
	He settles himself down in front of his lady's feet and the fire.
Gaskell	Now, my good wife. Whilst I rest, read to me a while from Shakespeare's 'Gay Boys in Bondage'.
	The wife looks a trifle taken aback but reluctantly opens the book and starts to read with a resigned air.
Wife	Yes... my lord ... 'Gay Boys in Bondage' ... Ken, 25, is a mounted policeman with a difference... and what a difference. Even Roger is surprised and he's... (she looks slightly, sick with guilt) he's used to real men ...
Gaskell	'Tis like 'Hamlet' ... what a genius!
Wife	'But who's going to do the cooking tonight? Roddy's got a mouthful...'

And then the modern world intrudes.  Very funny stuff.  (And for fans, here is all the dialog from all the Monty Pythons)

Phony Trendspotting

At Slate, Amy Sullivan tells us that the "Christian Right" is shifting to the left, over issues such as global warming and third world poverty.    This "trend" revealed itself to her  when Republican Senator Rick Santorum was a no-show at a forum given at Christian "Messiah College" in Pennsylvania.  Apparently the global warming scare film "The Great Warming", narrated by Keanu Reeves and Alanis Morissette was a big hit at the forum, as was Santorum's opponent, Democrat Bob Casey.  And Santorum was ill-treated  in absentium over his position on the environment.  All this leads Ms. Sullivan to conclude that Christians are poised to desert the Republican party over its environmental policies. 

You see this a lot, fabricating a trend out of a couple of data points (in this case, a single data point).  But honestly, just how representative is what happened at Messiah College to the general relationship between Republicans, Democrats, and Christian Evangelicals?  Not very, I think.

First, remember that Bob Casey is not just a Democrat, he is a pro-life democrat.  The list of high profile pro-life democrats is pretty short, there is Bob Casey and . . . . well, pretty much there is just Bob Casey.  The Democratic Party as a whole doesn't share his views on these sorts of issues; anybody besides me remember when his dad--also fiercely pro-life--was barred from speaking at the 1992 Dems convention because of these views?

Then there is the audience.  Let us not forget that college kids are  a lot dumber then people generally (sorry kids, but in 20 years you will probably agree with me), and also a lot less likely to vote.   I doubt that these kids' moms and dads share their opinions on most things, and (fortunately for us all) kids do tend to grow up.  And please note that neither Ms. Morissette nor Mr. Reeves are particularly big hits with the Christian community at large.

And, frankly, the notion that Christians are poised to support candidates who favor gay marriage and abortion-on-demand because of global warming is pretty silly.  Al Gore and a bunch of college kids notwithstanding, the environment isn't that big an issue with people.  Yes, if you ask people if global warming is an important, a lot of them will say yes.   But most people don't favor immediate government action on the issue.  And when you lump the environment in with issues like jobs and health care and ask people to prioritize, the environment is barely in the top ten.  There is no reason to believe that Christians are more likely to be environmentalists than the average voter (in fact, one of the canards of the lefties is that Christians think the Rapture is right around the corner, and so couldn't care less about the environment).

So, Ms. Sullivan's thesis is--basically--that Christians are prepared to support democrats with positions they abhor on issues they care passionately about, because the democrats also support issues that barely register with them.   Maybe, but I kinda doubt it.

Caution - War Story

Patterico has a post on how the Mexican government is threatening to file a lawsuit if the U.S. uses National Guard troops to help control the southern border.  While the AP story about the threatened lawsuit is not specific,  my guess is that the lawsuit will allege that the National Guard will be performing a law enforcement function in violation of the Posse Comitatus Act.  This Act is a general prohibition against use of the military for active law enforcement purposes.

I know a little about it, because I violated the law once, although entirely by accident.  Back when I was in the Marines my squadron (VMO-1) was tasked with assisting Customs to help protect the border against drug smugglers.  Part of this involved flying around the Bahamas, swooping down on sailboats  to check them out (there were a lot of pretty girls on those sailboats) and sneaking up on civilian aircraft from behind so we could read their side numbers.  That part was loads of fun.  There was also a lot of night flying, some of it in dirty weather, which wasn't  so much fun.  (I remember once operating over water under a solid 1200 foot overcast.  There wasn't a bit of ambient light, so the night vision stuff was useless, and there wasn't anything to see on the infrared.   I soon pretty much forgot about the mission and spent the next three hours or so just trying to stay alive).

Anyway, one night we were vectored onto a drug smuggling aircraft that was coming in over the border.   We used the infrared to follow him for a few hours, until he crashed while attempting to put down in a makeshift airfield.

My backseater saw a van pulling away from the crash sight in the infrared, so I figured "what the hell" and started to give chase.  We terrorized the guy for about five minutes, until the van drove off into the woods and the occupants took off running.  They didn't give off enough of a heat source for us to effectively track them on the infrared, so our fun was over for the night.

Anyway, years later while I was in law school I learned about the Posse Comitatus Act, and wondered why what we doing wasn't a violation.    It turned out that Congress had passed a law right before the deployment, allowing the use of the military to track and monitor "air and sea traffic" in aid of the drug enforcement effort.   That made it okay to follow boats and airplanes.  But the van we chased wasn't on the land or sea, so I guess it was a violation.   That was okay, nobody knew about it but me, and I wasn't talking.   (Until now, I guess).

Anyway, the lawsuit doesn't sound like it will go anywhere.  The Act doesn't apply to traditional military functions.  And if protecting the nation's border isn't a traditional function, I don't know what is.

Lazy Ramadi

Another white guy rap, this time from two Staff Sergeants in Ramadi.  Very, very funny.  (H/t to The Corner).

A Los Angeles Laker, Kwame Brown, has been accused of sexual assault.   As with last week's rape allegation against a U.S.C. football player, there have been no calls for firing the Laker's coach or for the suspension of the Laker's continued participation in the playoffs.  In fact, Phil Jackson seems to think the issue of whether one of his players raped a woman is only a distraction:

    Los Angeles coach Phil Jackson said before the game that he had spoken with Brown about the matter.

    "I did say something to Kwame: 'You know we have three priorities -- basketball, basketball and family. That's it.'"

    Jackson said Brown would play his usual minutes in the game, "if he can focus and play through this. I'm sure it's a distraction."

    "We're not even going to discuss it," Jackson said. "It's a basketball team and we've got to focus on what we need to do."

Can anyone imagine the reaction if the Duke lacrosse coach had said anything like this when his players were accused of rape?  Does Phil get a pass just because he is Phil, or are there different rules for athletes depending on the sport, or what?

Over the Hedge

I was lucky enough to get tickets to the premiere of the new Dreamworks animated film, "Over the Hedge."   It was the kind of movie that my seven year old daughter and I both thought was laugh-out-loud funny.  (Unlike movies like this one, where the kids loved it and I was praying for a loss of consciousness).

The movie's sole weakness was the predictability of the plot.  TJ, a smooth talking raccoon, has to gather up a wagon load of food to save his skin from a homicidal bear.  TJ comes across a friendly but naive family of scavengers (turtle, porcupines, possums and a squirrel), and cons them into helping him collect the food.   Of course, he is only setting them up for the inevitable betrayal.  Or do you think he will have a "change of heart" when the time comes to actually steal the food?  It wasn't hard to figure out how that would go.

Anyway, the voice acting was great.  Bruce Willis was TJ, Gary Shandling played Verne the turtle (the only one not completely taken by TJ), and William Shatner had a star turn as Ozzie the possum, trying to convince his daughter Heather (Avril Lavigne) on the virtues of playing dead.  And the dialog was even better; it was the kind of movie I will probably have to see again to get the jokes I missed the first time around.  The highpoints were TJ's monologue about the  humans' obsession with food,  an extended "death" scene by Ozzie, and the impact of a can of "jolt cola" on  Hammy, the already-way-too hyperactive squirrel.  This last might have been the funniest thing I can remember seeing in any movie, anywhere.

Anyway, if you have kids, this is your excuse to simultaneously take in a movie you will thoroughly enjoy and, at the same time, get points for being a "good dad."