In a light hearted moment a while back I poked a little good natured fun at the University of Texas fight song, wondering why the band played "I've Been Working on the Railroad" whenever the football team did anything good. I should have known that it is safer to make fun of a person's religion than anything having to do with certain college football teams.
I heard from Bob Clarke, former Marine NCO from the Great State of Texas. Bob informed me that the University of Texas song is "The Eyes of Texas are Upon You", that it is a sacred song, and that it was stolen by Yankee railroadmen (probably from New York). He threatened bodily harm.
I tried to curry favor with Bob by telling him of my wonderful year in Texas while I was going through flight training in Beeville (a lie, BTW, Beeville was the pits) and pointed out to him that, in fact, the UT Band's own website acknowledges that the song was derived from "I've Been Working on the Railroad".
I got nowhere. Bob responded with additional not-so-veiled threats and, intrepid correspondent that I am, I felt compelled to roll over on this one, lest rifle rack toting cars and pick-up trucks (with cattle horns bolted to the front fenders) start showing up at my front door.
And so now I feel compelled to make the following points:
1. "The Eyes of Texas are Upon You" is the finest college fight song known to man.
2. "The Eyes of Texas are Upon You" was not derived from "I've Been Working on the Railroad", rather it is the product of divine inspiration. The only reason why the UT Band's website suggests otherwise is because it was hacked by terrorists (probably based in New York).
3. The University of Texas football team is the greatest team that ever existed. It can win any fair football contest, and the only reason it loses to Oklahoma is because of corrupt Big 12 officials (paid off by Yankee gamblers, probably from New York) who allow the Sooners to play with 13 men on a side and give them "do over" downs after bad plays.
4. In world affairs the state of Texas strides across the globe like a colossus, a mighty friend and a terrifying foe. In fact, the reason why the rest of the states begged Texas to join the United States is because we wanted to make sure it was always on our side.
Semper Fi, Bob.